My sister Michelle is a wonderful cosmetologist. Her daughter's hair always looks so nice. I so badly wish that my sister lived next door to me. I do not possess her talent for fixing hair. In fact in years past I would consider myself horrible at doing hair. That is why I find it quite comical that I was blessed with a daughter that has a beautiful, but challenging head of hair! It is very thick and wiry---a combination that I am told does not bode well for my sanity.
When we adopted Olivia the very idea of doing her hair intimidated me (in fact it still does). I quickly learned that the African American community does not tolerate a child's hair being messy. To them, a neat head of hair is a sign of love, dignity and care and that neglected hair indicates the lack of a mother's love. I did not want anybody to think I did not love or care for my child. I have read books, taken classes, bought more hair product than you can imagine, and have asked other mothers for advice. I am still learning---mostly by trial and error.
Every day as my fingers fumble I worry that someday Olivia will look at pictures of herself and wonder why she was blessed with a mother that has no clue! I do her hair in an effort to show her that she is loved and valued and to take pride in herself. We try to make a big deal of her hair and praise her constantly and it is definitely fun to watch her eyes glow as she looks at herself in the mirror.
I recently convinced Olivia to cut 5 inches off of her hair and we have never been happier!!! Her hair is still thick and wiry---but there is alot less of it. Doing her hair use to take 45 min-1 hr. Now I can finish her hair in about 10 minutes. I was a little sad at first --no more cute, curly ponytails. My sadness was short lived when the next day we did her hair so quickly and painlessly! I love a morning that does not start with tears and rapid heart rates.
I will continue to learn, seek advice, buy new product and always try, in an effort to show my daughter that I value her. Olivia please know that as I struggle to learn and as you cry out in pain that I am doing it out of love for you. You truly are beautiful and I want you to know that.
As her hair thickened single braided piggytails
turned into double braided piggytails
Hair pulled back in a ponytail (my favorite) usually meant lots of tangles the next day(not so much my favorite)
Single braided ponytails led to double braided ponytails
She loves to wear her hair down because she likes when
it whips around as she spins.
Moments after we cut 5 inches off of her hair. She was so afraid she was going to look like a boy---the hairstylist did a nice job of fixing her hair so pretty.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Labor of Love
Posted by Sheri at 10:02 PM
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5 comments:
She really IS so beautiful! That is such a sweet post and I like the concept of a mother's love coming through the child's hair. It's a lovely metaphor (and you conveyed it in such a lovely way).
I love the picture of she and Easton. She is such a cute, cute girl. While my battles with Hallie's hair are not as challenging as Olivia's I know a bit of your frustration. That is why Hallie's hair is now only an inch long in the back now. It has saved us both a lot of time, tears and frustration.
I soooo hate doing hair!! I can't imagine having it take an hour! YOu get the Mother Of The Year award in my book! You can see by looking at my girls that we do the short thing also and it works for us. They don't seem to care and the best is that they do it themselves.
Sheri, you are underestimating your talents. Every time I have ever seen Olivia, her hair has been darling- and all those pictures prove it, too! It doesn't have to be complex, just well-kept and neat.
I fail in both those departments and I don't even have African American hair to deal with. When I only had one daughter, she was done up every day with sprays, clips, and what-not. Since I've had two girls, I rarely do their hair- they do their own now. And you can usually view the results of that on Sundays.
My mom was terrible with hair and had no excuse. I was called a boy for several years because of my butch haircuts! Now that's sad.
I just got caught up on your blog & I wanted to let you know that it brings a smile to my face when I read it!
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